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When mother in-laws over step the mark

13 Apr

This will be a rant to vent my anger.  It’s the time old problem ‘mother in-law’.  I think kids should spend time with grandparents they play an important part in their lives, but what if these grandparents, or more precisely grandmother over steps the boundaries every single time, and this time puts the kids in a position that they feel they have to keep a secret from their parents to keep the peace.  My mother in-law did something that my hubbie and I expressed was not allowed, my eldest knew that so he felt pressured as to whether he should tell me what happened or not.  This is too much for a little kid to deal with and the mother in-law should not have done that, even though she knew this was a boundary she should not have crossed.  I of course was not upset with my kids, they are kids, I felt bad they felt this pressure.  I do blame the mother in-law for over stepping her bounds, as she has done so many times and does not seem to understand the word ‘boundary’, I also blame hubbie, yes hubbie, this is his mother he should have expressed to her where her boundaries are, which he did not very well.  I believe that he should respect his mother but when it comes to the up bringing of our kids and our relationship, clearly defined boundaries should have been set for her, and there should have been more of a united front (hubbie uniting with me) when frist time she over stepped the mark, then maybe we would not be on this position.  Trust is a fragile thing, when its lost its hard to get back, she has lost my trust in her, out relationship is strained, and hubbie and I are in a tense situation with each other, and in all this the kids are in the middle, even though I am trying to not show them my feelings so they don’t feel strained, it is hard.  Will my and my mother in-laws relationship be able to be build again, I don’t think so, will there be trust for her from me, I don’t know.

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Posted by on April 13, 2010 in rantings

 

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