Had an exhausting morning today, gave porridge to my youngest and spent 4 hours having a fight about eating it. He started with eating it slowly and moving it around the bowl looking at me with a half-smile, this always means ‘I am going to drive you insane now for as long as I can’, and he is stubborn enough to make it last for a long long time, 4 hours to be exact. ‘eat your porridge’ ‘I am, see (mischievous smile)’ ‘put the food on the spoon and put it in your mouth’ ‘no’, and this is how it went. 2 and half hours into this battle of wills hubbie wakes up and says he is taking kids kite watching, another battle of wills ensues. His help is to tell the little one that he can help him make his coffee with him if he eats his breakfast (by now its brunch time), youngest answers ‘no’, hubbie’s helpfulness (if that’s even a word) is to tell him he will take him to see the kites flying.
Not actually helping me there hubbie (tut) are you, but I have to be the bad guy who says eat your porridge, brush your teeth don’t rip that book apart, and hubbie is the ‘lets go look at kites flying’ guy. The outcome (decided by me as usual, you know the bad guy) was if you don’t eat your food no going out, stood firm by that and watched the youngest cry as hubbie and eldest went out, my heart was aching but can’t show weakness or he will walk all over me as he does with well everyone else, so I have to stand firm and be the bad guy. Being the bad guy for so long starting to wonder if that is who I am or who I am forced to be because all the other ‘role models’ around me are failing to taking a firm handle on discipline. I may sound like I getting a bit of self-pity going on here, well yes a little but mostly it’s because I don’t get any help with discipline, its like hubbie and the grandparents think that if they are all nicey nice with the kids they would somehow magically be disciplined good members of society, not self-absorbed, selfish brats. Like Dr phil says if you don’t give kids boundaries you are not doing them any favours (oh yes I did quote Dr Phil). Although sometimes I just want to say ‘sod it’ and just not bother, its my duties to pick up the slack where others around me fail.
There will be more ranting about having to be the bad guy as my kid’s other ‘role models’ fail oh so manyyyyyyy times, so stay tuned it will get a lot more interesting.